so umm

i feel like letting go
i feel like ive had too much
....i wanna feel like im not alone
i dont think ive met a single individual who has & still loves me completely
=/
i wanna walk a mile without wanting to cry
i try so hard with you but you dont give a fuck
so what am i to do ?

just FML

& if i were to die today..

i would at least be able to know what love feels like
id be able to say everything happens for a reason
but i wouldn't be able to let go of your heart
...i know our relationship has been more than complicated
but your the person that makes me jump, that embraces my flaws, & keep me going when i wanna give up
my words start to tangle when trying to explain my feelings
..but how long can i continue like this
constantly asking for apples but receiving oranges
i wanna be your everything, just like you are mine
i wanna give you butterflies again, i want you to grab my hips while i wrap my hands around you and intake your delightful scent
i just want the old us again..
...& if i were to die today id know what it feels like to lust for something
..to WANT something
to truly love someone...

& now i dont even know where to go

when a heart feels as empty as mine..where does one go
when a soul feels as as drained as mine where does ones sanity disappear to
how does one live in their skin knowing their the reason for their own unhappiness
how does one allow self inflected tears to drown them into misery
in which path do i follow when the path i drew for myself got me this lost , & it seems that there's no way out
how do i manage to breathe without every beat erupting with red rivers of sorrow & remorse
how is on suppose to love when seems like a mirage
who me hopeless? yes
who me pathetic? of course
who me depressed? without a doubt
whats left of my heart is not even to be describe as such, rather as a vein
a piece of something immature, undeveloped, deprived of nurture, ...nothing
time is the ultimate healing power & i humbly accept me defeat
to hopefully face my enemy, & stop this on going war
with love, with you, with myself

=)

guess the fuck what bitches
IM BACK ON THIS SHIT, LOL i hope i was missed
well then lets get caught up shall we?

-well as of today i ppl have came in (=D) & stepped out of my life(smh)..kinda personal cant be putting this shit on the net lol .
- i went supply shopping & got my cute lil binder from freshman year lol =)
& omg my locker i gunna be totally swanky..oh shit & i got a new journal
-i got a WHOLE new collection of nail polish =)
-permed this nappy ass hair
-OH shit did i mention that i was being stocked , YES smh its creepy
..been hanging out with the girls a lot also ( gosh i love them )..i mean we could be doing
absolutely nothing & have the best time
( the happy couple)

LOL..oh shit & now that my room is officially done ill be doing a tour soon lol
hmm well thats about it
ohhh & i have web cam now ..anyone wanna chat ? lol

yo =)

sooo my predicions for senior year in bumb ass randolph areeeee

DRAMA
DRAMA
STRESS
OH WAIT DID I SAY DRAMA

lol but im ready for it...got my mouth all loose =DD (reckless voice)

well as of today im supposed to perm this mop on my head
i have like the illest new growth
lmfaooo i look like harriet tubman right now

hmm dont you hate how when you first get a perm you can never get it the way you want?

NOTE OF THE DAY : i hate with a passion when people buy something from a certain store & then they think what they got on is popping just cuz its from that store -__- lame
ya know what i mean?

TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN

to all those who read & follow my blog i got news for you
UNLESS i directly say your name in my blog ( which i will do cuz idgaf)
...tehn dont come at me on some stupid shit talking about im attacking you
i write about whatever is on my mind and random shit that i think is relavent
DONT LIKE IT
then dont fucking visit my page
THANK YOU & GOOD FUCKING DAY

follow the leader.

why everybody wanna be on each other's dicks now
smh its ANNOYING
now every sneaker head think they a fucking photographer
taking pictures of what?
SHIT
im tierd of every nigga thinking kicks & levis jeans is the SHIT
& im tierd of chicks thinking she can rock a pair of shoes
WTF outta nowhere every chick wanna start wearing heels
whats up with everybody following each other
& now every girl wanna be nikki minaj
OR there "badd", pst please give me a break
i want something fresh
whatever happened to being original?
one someone starts a trend..every sheep wanna follow the heard
SMH

cornballs

other corny things include :
-having 50 people on your top..its called top for a reason
- writing uppercase & lowercase letters to create a word
- putting the date when you & your mate started going out when ya been together for a week
- putting pictures of everyone except yourself in your album
- having a picture of everyone you know on your page
- walking around with your bag on your wrist or elbow
-wearing the same color in your whole outfit or trying ode hard to match

my girls <3

so i went out with my girls again because i love those bitches. & we had a blast

first was the museum , then the best part was lunch in Soho =D

then it was of to forever 21 & further shopping
OMFG Hollister has the fucking hottest employees, i wanted to jump on them.
then we chilled in mickey dees den roaming around



me getting molested by my hoes =D

finesssey wessy & i



so we chilled until late & we had a blast

P.S. my bitches are better then yours

men & boys.

theres a reason why men & boys are two different words
two many BOYS claim they are MEN when they are still living off their mother & cheating on their girlfriends.

BOYS are the little immature fucks who dont want just one girlfriend
BOYS are the ignorant bastards who believe a MAN has to control his woman
BOYS are the little insecure mamas boys who bitch when you wanna chill with your girls instead of chilling with him.
BOYS are the ones with premature penises that only care about how tight a girls pussy is
BOYS are the ones who believe getting fresh is the most important thing in life
BOYS are the arrogant sons of bitches who refer to women a bitches & hoes.


MEN are not afraid to cry.
MEN have respect for every women in their lives.
MEN are the strong figures who don't skip out on their families or ask for paternity tests.
MEN love their mother but don't live off them.
MEN tell their girlfriends hat their beautiful
MEN know when to say sorry & admit to their mistakes
REAL MEN don't have to continuously remind the world that they are a man.

...see the difference?

yurday !

soooooo yesturday i reunited with my hoes =D

dolls <33 [ ISABELLA- KEONA- FINESSE]

it was a mission for birthday presents & even though one of us left empty handed it was still a blast.
OMG there were hollister models...WITHOUT shirts (my cam fucked up but you get the point)



OHHH shit & we went into a dark crack in the wall & climbed up dark steps...& we took pics =D




it was a blast, just another reason why i love my hoes =D


oh & for those who know me & are wondering...no thats not keona its finesse's cousin..keona took the pic lol

battlefield

the war is finally over
& i stand here counting my wounds that i somehow, inflicted upon myself
i thought we were at war, but i was at war with myself. Wanting so badly to be with you ended up making me want & appreciate myself.
I was at war between what i wanted & reality.
You wanted that & i wanted this
This was perfect & that was complicated
That made you smile but this made you worry
This could have been amazing but that was convenient
My sword cries with defeat
My shield's scratches burn with embarrassment
My war gear ripped into shreds
Ive lost the battle, but.....Ive won the war =D
i lost you, but i think myself is a better prize.

BITCH.

IM SO FUCKING TIRED OF THE WHOLE WORLD
FUCK EVERYONE
FUCK YOU FOR MESSING WITH MY HEART
FUCK YOU FOR TAKING ME FOR GRANTED
FUCK YOU FOR TREATING ME LIKE SHIT
FUCK YOU FOR MAKING ME CRY LIKE THIS
FUCK HER
FUCK HIM
FUCK YOU
FUCK EVERYONE
NOBODY FUCKING UNDERSTANDS ME
ITS ME AGAINST THE FUCKING WORLD
FUCK MY HEART
FUCK MY FEELINGS
FUCK THE FUCKING TEARS I CRY EVERY FUCKING NIGHT
FUCK MY STUPIDITY FOR ACTUALLY THINKING I COULD BE HAPPY
FUCK MY LIFE
FUCK ME
SOMEBODY PASS ME A FUCKING GUN & GET THE FUCK OUTTA MY FACE

living la vida

publicize me, ignite my shame and set me free
Scream it to the world and see what you'll accomplish
im a step closer to what i thought i could see
..but ive figured out it was a figment of my imagination,
an igloo in a dessert
a creation of a diluted mind
I see where im going but im still walking in the dark
i must unravel my potential, shine through the darkness others have placed me in
so publish me honey
ignite me
and watch the layers burn, the layers of imperfection
and....watch in anticipation and see it was me behind there
the whole damn time...







Time is a thief.
it stole my innocence , my wisdom, and the thing that makes me....me
A minute spent is a minute never replaced..
people, however are the biggest thieves of our life
in the world of today...
-fathers are stealing young daughters happiness, innocence, childhood, radiance. He steals my happiness with his loud-mouth yelling,baggy dressing, finger pointing selves.
-mothers steal peace with their big ass fucking mouths and her i think im the queen of this house self.
- and i , i stole my life with my caring of other people and their thoughts, always crying over something, always frowning over something, home body, low-self esteem self.

I AM WOMAN

Ive found out who i am
i am a woman
i am pro living, not pro ignorance
other people are temporary, you will always be yourself
Happiness comes from within
If your not satisfied with yourself your a lost soul
I love myself so allow me to introduce:
Hello my name is Isabella
Born during winter, but my heart is warm
only 5 feet but miles of fun
Laughter is my savior
Love is my god
Life is a sculpture in which i mold
No man shall shame me
No person shall defeat me
i am my own worst enemy, I am a warrior
i possess power in which God only has knowledge of
i am not self-absorbed but I am self concerned, self driven
i will not stay down when life shoves and kicks me
i will not stray away from my problems and the truth
i will not limit myself to any stereotypical perspectives
i will believe in myself and escalate in life
i will share my love and wisdom
i will keep my promises
i will be a better person, as of today
As of today, I am a woman

Diary of a Mad Black Women

"relationships may be dead but look live to us"-common

It amazing how you can be with someone for so long, and they end up hurting you so badly. Im portrayed to be this bitch and it hurts me that no one knows the real story, the black and white behind your pitaful story. Once other people and their talk get involved your happiness is destroyed. It amazing how someone can say they love you but be so fucked up towards you.

Truth is no one is who they say they are, thell change up on you in the presence of people.

Truth is love is sometimes only temporary.

Truth is Ive had my heart broken.

Its amazing how you work so hard to build something and it all falls into shatters right before your eyes. Its so FUCKED up of you to go around telling all these lies when you know what you did, you know what you did to drive me away.

You cheated.

You ignored me.

You drove me away period.

You lost out on a good one, honey

I wont lie, im bitter, and i wont lie i wish people could know the truth..but im not that kind of person.

KARMA will handle you.