& if i were to die today..

i would at least be able to know what love feels like
id be able to say everything happens for a reason
but i wouldn't be able to let go of your heart
...i know our relationship has been more than complicated
but your the person that makes me jump, that embraces my flaws, & keep me going when i wanna give up
my words start to tangle when trying to explain my feelings
..but how long can i continue like this
constantly asking for apples but receiving oranges
i wanna be your everything, just like you are mine
i wanna give you butterflies again, i want you to grab my hips while i wrap my hands around you and intake your delightful scent
i just want the old us again..
...& if i were to die today id know what it feels like to lust for something
..to WANT something
to truly love someone...

& now i dont even know where to go

when a heart feels as empty as mine..where does one go
when a soul feels as as drained as mine where does ones sanity disappear to
how does one live in their skin knowing their the reason for their own unhappiness
how does one allow self inflected tears to drown them into misery
in which path do i follow when the path i drew for myself got me this lost , & it seems that there's no way out
how do i manage to breathe without every beat erupting with red rivers of sorrow & remorse
how is on suppose to love when seems like a mirage
who me hopeless? yes
who me pathetic? of course
who me depressed? without a doubt
whats left of my heart is not even to be describe as such, rather as a vein
a piece of something immature, undeveloped, deprived of nurture, ...nothing
time is the ultimate healing power & i humbly accept me defeat
to hopefully face my enemy, & stop this on going war
with love, with you, with myself

=)

guess the fuck what bitches
IM BACK ON THIS SHIT, LOL i hope i was missed
well then lets get caught up shall we?

-well as of today i ppl have came in (=D) & stepped out of my life(smh)..kinda personal cant be putting this shit on the net lol .
- i went supply shopping & got my cute lil binder from freshman year lol =)
& omg my locker i gunna be totally swanky..oh shit & i got a new journal
-i got a WHOLE new collection of nail polish =)
-permed this nappy ass hair
-OH shit did i mention that i was being stocked , YES smh its creepy
..been hanging out with the girls a lot also ( gosh i love them )..i mean we could be doing
absolutely nothing & have the best time
( the happy couple)

LOL..oh shit & now that my room is officially done ill be doing a tour soon lol
hmm well thats about it
ohhh & i have web cam now ..anyone wanna chat ? lol